Nearing the end of my time in New York City, I was torn between the city I had loved for over 18 years and a yearning to leave it. I invited my friend, Kylie, to act as a stand-in for me, channeling my complex feelings of the city, fed by its energy and drained by it. She represented my wanting to remain in the place that has taught me so much about life, and leaving it - and possibly my identity - all behind.